Parenting Tips


   I love my child and am concerned that I seem to have little time to spend with him.  By the time I get both of us ready in the morning, dash out the door, drop him off at child care, get to work, leave work, pick him up from child care, arrive home, do dinner and get him ready for bed……we have little time together.  Help!!!!  What can I do to improve our time together?


    With today’s busy life-styles this is a common concern of parents.  Many parents find it helpful to use these very hectic transitional times as "quality time" moments.  Try one of these suggestions for a day or so and then phase in others that seem appropriate in your particular situation.  Try to remember that it is not the amount of time that you spend with your child that counts, instead it is the quality of the moments that you have together.

Suggestion 1:
   Try to make your mornings as relaxed as possible.  It is usually helpful if you allow even your very young child (18 months or older) to choose clothes the night before.

Strategy:
    You, as the parent decide on two or more acceptable outfits and your child gets to choose which one they prefer.  The key to success is for you to choose the "acceptable outfits" without your child looking on.  Then, you show them the outfits and say, "Which would you like to wear tomorrow, your red shirt or your blue shirt with the stripes?"  Only allow a choice between the clothing that is OK to wear.  Never allow a choice between something that would be unacceptable to you.

   Along with your child, decide on a special place to put the clothing so it will be easily found in the morning.  When morning comes, try to get up early enough to give yourself some time before others wake up.   Keep breakfast simple. Cheerfully, remind your child about the wonderful choice they made regarding the clothes to be worn and that you are really looking forward to seeing how great he or she will look in the outfit.  "I can hardly wait to see how great you look in your red shirt.  See if you can hurry and get it on and surprise me.  Soon as you are dressed, tell me to close my eyes and then when I open them – I will be soooooo surprised."  Always remember a little drama and humor works wonders.  Don’t forget to "oh and ah."

Suggestion 2: 
   Make use of daily travel time.  Establish meaningful routines such as letting the child choose the radio station or music in the morning and you in the evening, remarking as you drive by familiar things, and keeping a special pillow in the car for a little more dozing and cuddling while in the car seat.  Talk about what you and your child are going to do that day.

Strategy:
   Many times it helps you to get a slow moving child out the door by giving them a fun experience to look forward to.  Getting to child care is usually not a motivator – spending some fun time with a parent definitely is.  Set the stage in advance by talking about what you will be doing together once you get in the car.   "What music do you think you will chose for us to listen to this morning?" or "Which song should we sing first?" or "What story shall I tell you as we drive this morning?" or "What do you think that we will see when we start driving."  Remind your child that you are really going to hurry and get ready because you both will really have fun together.  Driving together is a great way to begin games and traditions that will last for many years.

Suggestion 3:
  Make a smooth transition from home to child care by walking as relaxed as possible into the child care center or home, talking to the caregiver, and saying a special goodbye and allowing time for a meaningful goodbye hug.

Strategy:
   As you say goodbye, remind your child that you will be looking forward to hearing all about their day when you pick him or her up in the afternoon.   If possible allow enough time to help your child make the transition by helping him or her into an interaction with another child or a teacher.

Suggestion 4:
   Make pick-up time relaxed and meaningful. Look at the art work your child has done.  Talk to the caregiver.  Read the bulletin board notices and menu with your child: "You had meat loaf today, bet it was good."  Or "Tomorrow you are going to make trees."  Have a folder or a book bag to take home the day’s treasures.

Strategy:
  If you need to wind down from a hectic day, stop for a short respite before picking up your child.  Allow time for this, even if you only take 5 minutes for some deep breathing.  Many times driving through a drive-through for a juice pick up will work wonders.

  Make going home an adventure.   Encourage your child to talk about the day.  Share your work experiences.   Sing songs.  Have occasional surprises in the car such as a piece of office stationery folder into a fan, a giveaway pen, or an empty plastic staple box.

Suggestion 5:
   Schedule for mealtime success.

Strategy:
   So you won’t feel pushed to prepare dinner, have a nutritious snack in the car or waiting at home.  Involve your child in the dinner preparations.  Even toddlers can help by placing napkins or silverware on the table.

Suggestion 6:
   Bedtime routines.

Strategy:
   Establish firm bedtime routines.  After a bath, it’s time for bed and a story.  A 15-minute story with your child snuggled against you is more beneficial than a dragged-out hour with interruptions.  After a hug and a kiss, the rest of the night should be yours.  After your child is in bed, take a deep breath, relax ……you deserve it!!!